feelings for the week..

well... i came back from college.. thank god today i din sleep in class.. hehe... this week got socio quiz.. aikz.. cant manage to read finish 4 chapters... :( and hopefully can finish my 1st public speaking presentation... yesterday prepared with roxy, shin and lester.. hopefully i can speak well infront of everyone... ^^

hmm... feel kinda disappointed.. well.. yea.. i scrue up my toefl.. and i got a bad results.. i dunno how to apply for uni... today a genius ask me in school why i scrue up my toefl.. oh gosh.. how can i answer u why... or maybe i can answer this... "my english sucks".. is true... my english is really bad thats y i cant understand much when i read.. so i choose to write my blog in chinese most of the time.. but than sometimes lazy type chinese... so wrote with my suckie english.. maybe speaking i improve wisely cause i speak english most of the time in college....

relate to my uni.. all my cousins are asking which uni am i going to further my studies in US... my answer is........... I DUNNO!!! my dad tell me that he is really happy because during his time no1 study in uni before.. i guess i am the 2nd among all my cousins... 1st is my cousin who study in australia... like N years before... many friends ask me... "did u ever think to step into the entertainment field??" i always hesitate... but my answer is always.. YES.. of course i wan... my mom ask me "do u really wanna go overseas to study???"... i hesitate again... now this time... what is my answer??? i really dunno... i am not a genius.. i cant get A all the time... but i only can say that the only subject i am good in is MATHS.. the rest SUCKS!!! actuarial science??? i really can make it??? i dunno... give up on singing and music??? definately NO!!! maybe this is one of the reasons i why till now i haven apply for my uni..

i am quite happy my gu zheng exam pass.. hehe... got a friend who ask me... "why do u learn so many things... u wanna become 才女ar???" haha... of course i wanna become la... but all also half pale water.. how to become cai nv... must gambade la... ^^ but i learn many things is because i really like not to show off la... my piano teacher always tell me this.. girls now a days... need to have 3 B's.. not "big boobs, breats and butt".. haha... but "beauty, brains and bronze".. is true... inner beauty, smart and glamorous... there are 2 women i respect much in my life.. 1st is my mother.. and 2nd is my piano teacher... she taught me many things not only in music.. but in life.. is just like i have 2 mothers now... hehe... ^^

well.. sometimes i feel stress.. i am happy i born and live in a happy family.. i cant complain much bout it... i am the eldest in the family.. but most of the time i need to be the role model to my 2 younger brothers... i need to be good all the time.. i cant show my sadness now.... i am not a kid now!!! i have to "stand up" in everything... sometimes i think that.. do i really wanna go overseas to study?? or just a responsibility for the family to show that i have complete a degree??? i really dunno!! I DUNNO!!! what should i do... i don wanna stress myself thinking many silly things.. really feel like enjoying... in everything...

hope that everything will be alright... ^^ SMILE!!! ^^